Wanna Fishing till rotten....=w=~Self cheating once again yay~

Till today, I still dunno is it still worth to keep this relationship exist anot...?
Tired and alone, although I keep go hang out wit other and gaming to force myself to forget it....
Well I think I am just keep cheating myself that to forgot it....

I jz keep cheating myself that face is doesent matter, boyish is doesnt matter......
But I think I was TOTALLY wrong and so wrong.....

Nothing can compare to ur selfishness and ignoring on me.....
Should I blame you or myself?
Blame myself not pretty enough?
Blame myself not girlish enough?
Blame myself not slut enough?

All the way come, I dun hv the right to care bout you......
But u hv the right to choose not to believe me.....
U hv the right choose to see all wat im doing is wrong witout any reason...
Choose to BETRAY ALL wat u said to me.....

Wat to do?
U can choose to no need me, But I need you,so I dun hv the right of choosing.....

Several time of nightmare telling me that if I keep avoiding like this just make myself getting crazy.....
Everytime I wake up frm the nightmare there is just only tears belong with me...

But your stubborn jz make me dunno how to face you.....And you are changed,getting to worst....

What should I do?

Can you teach me how to do to not lose you like past?Witout any argue and the cold feeling?

I tot you were not him, but u still do the same thing like he did......Why not?

There is no different now jz I was once again fooled and hurted......

You nvr give any explaination, your act are telling me like this....

I dunno, what should I do, I dunno your mind, or mayb say you r so strange to me in this moment.....

Wish to go simple...But not simple as u think..

Someone complaining bout his dog....
ROFL....

Buy Iphone la....Ur new meet bro is phone seller before...nyahaha~

I jz realize I was hated so much....
Wat to do....?

Sometime u wish thing goes simple coz I really dun wanna think complicated liao...
But it turns out is a NO NO thing.....lolz?

Know something I think I shud not know but wat to do....??
Nvm....Play u die kau kau slowly.....

Getting my fishing tackle this week shud be....
But where to fish huh?

All go sea jigging already la u all deng......
Im the only very few female n youngest i think....wakakaka~

Stupid internet line slow slow make me jz can make Dragonica combo at KOPIOH....
The stupid lion still keep DL-ing movie day and nite.....Wat to do?

A younger sister worst than me....Wat to do...?

Times getting closer and wig and props left....Wat to do??

Saw his personal msg seem so suffer but if he still dun wanna see me....Wat to do??
Think and worry?Can bo?
I rather spend my time on sleeping.....lolz....
Im dam lack of sleep these days.....

Realize no one can make me precious like him but jz think bout him back....
Wat to do....??

Mum dislike wat someone is doin.....I dunno who is lying....
Wat to do....??

I jz wish thing goes like the past we together before as simple as tat only....
Can not?

I jz lazy to know new person....Coz I hate the changes.....

All the humans heart will destructed when times goes by....Even me too....

Sleepy now o...
Wat to do...?
So many things need to solve le....
Wat to do??

Sleep first la....After tomoro is another week with fun and relax....
Finish the costume....
Get my tackle set....
And wait for salary yay.....

我升仙料........

Crashed Down soon......

If u r complaining.....
Just dun tell me u can hold those usless matters.....
And jz go back HT so far all the way jz for the nonsense person......

I knew it I knew it!!!!
Im just a nonsense person!!!
Coz Im not enuff SLUT so u was ignoring me!~!
So u rather waste time on them BUT NVR CARE BOUT ANYTHING OF ME!!!

U nvr ask bout my costume progress....
U nvr ask bout how i am these days....
U nvr listen to me.....

If u wanna get away from me.....
JUST TELL ALL THE THING AND GET LOST FROM MY SIGHT AND IN MY LIFE PLS!!BUT NOT HANGING AROUND WITH FULL OF NONSENSE PPL AROUND U!!!!

Shud i gv up???!!!
Shud i leave here??!!
Shud i continue it wit me all alone???!!

I have reach so far here....
With all the suffer and the loneliness which abusing my heart and mind every second.....

But wat u all acting and showing me is USELESS for WHAT I HAVE DONE SO FAR!!!!

WAT I LIVE FOR???!!
WAT I COSPLAY FOR???!!
TO SEE THOSE SLUTTY SPINNING AROUND MY SIGHT????

WHY I HV TO BE MERCY TO MYSELF AND CONTINUE STAY HERE???

I wish to go some place....That wun be hv u and all of them......
I wish i could forgot all the memories....Between me and u.........and him..........
I wish i could proud of telling them im the one who always on magazine when even im asked by my boss's student which learning guitar....

But even i get fame.....
Wat it is for.....?

We hv no way to communicate ever.....
I hv no choice to forgive the sluttts forever.....
Pls nvr think bout peace between us......

Only either they stay...And I leave....
Leave this cruel places.....
Only leave the memories, jz only can stop my suffer.......

Ur caring and the news of him is the only thing can make me continue the path.....
But it all gone......

Im like in the darkness....
Everyday and night.....
Acting normal but hiding my sadness n suffer by myself like my daily supper.....

No one cares.....
No one listen.....
No one....
No more reason to live.......
If all thing is gone.......

Shud I keep the ME right now or jz be the evil one?

Guess wat??
Someone rather waste the time on helping nonsense ppl do her props and was ignored bout mine wan at all....
Hello im jz like a nobody.....TRUTH.....
Here is the prove.....
Im jz a shit...

She is a definitely SLUT....Since I know her.....
But she was IMPORTANT than me for him.....
Hello......?
SLUTTY do u really so desperated to spinning around my sight?

If she was the one which my mum heard from him......
OKAY THIS IS THE LAST MINUTE I HVE U THIS STUPID GUY IN MY MIND~!~!~!

WAT FOR I NEED TO ARGUE WITH A BRAINLESS GUY???!!
Is so happy I jz hang ouy wit Simon hving wine n beer with bouncer guarding around like VIP....
And bully those shit we dun like......
This is the way I think he dun wan me to involve but I think I hv to.....

MONEY N FAME IS THE WAY TO MAKE PPL RESPECT U.....
IM JZ A NOBODY TO U ALL SO WAT FOR I KEEP SO GOOD LIKE THIS???

WHY I DUN JZ FLUNK MY LIFE WIT THE WAY I LIKE AND NO NEED TO ENDURE AND REVENGE OR GV THEM A SHIT AS I LIKE?
I hv the opportunity to do tat howcome IM so STUPID till today im still like a good boy?IS TOTALLY SHIT STUPID~!!~!
HE JUST WILL CARE OF THOSE SHITTY SLUT AND HIM TOO~!!~
U R JZ NOBODY IN HIS EYES~!!~!
U R JZ A LITTLE KID IN HIS EYES!~!~!~

SO WHY NOT U JZ MAKE A DAM BIG BUISNESS AND WHACK OFF PPL AROUND HIM N TELL HIM HOW SUCCESS R U?

Phew.....Mayb this is the last moment which I still remain my good heart....
Just pay it off soon.....To change my evil.....Into the reality........

---------Line of EMO--------------------------------------------------------------

Luve the ice bar which simon bring me n leonard to go last nite......
Forgot wat is the vodka name but it better to drink black label......
Well.....
Black Label shud campur wit ribena ,simon said.....
And end up wit hving nice laksa n Golok mee which make by aunty Alice herself instead of ah boy make wan......

I luve the Fireball movie since it enuff realistic,as a Thailand movie....
Too bad our lil cute Iq be the 1st one who murdered by the opponent team and even K died too.....T^T
Is out of expect that Tai as the main char dead too and only Zing survived....
The end beginning with the boss bring him the man which those defeated by their team before to test.....
Zing is a Thai boxer which like Fireball......Not the main char but is the one who survived after the final of the fireball tournament.....

Hmm.....Howcome no these kind of sport in M'sia........
Is so earning man......Just a basketball tournament witout fighthing by using our pekerja asing?
Coz they need money and WE CAN GET MONEY~!!~!~

Oh yes im still drunking.....XD
Coz i not really wanna wake up frm this awful truth that im jz NOBODY to u n him......

Here come my 假期大杂烩~

YAY~~~First day of holiday~~~~weeeeeeeee~~~~

But when I wake up at 10....SHIIEEEEETTTTT~
Headache like hell~
and bit flu.....
so end up wit FFK of wai kek of not goin to play badminton with them.....
and jeff and other too.....
So sorry dear.....>_<||| Gv u back a kiss next time....lolz~ Let jz continue at next week....>w<

Tired tired tired.......=3=
Tot wanna do some stuff in this holiday.....But I think need after this week....
Nid to buy meterial for cosplay.....
After tat busy wit my wig n props....
Shud be doin the nunchaku version....
I dun think hv time to make the blade axe wan in not more than 2 month?

Suddenly.....
I feel that this trip mayb hv some suprise......?
Saw him online,but we nvr talk.....
Mayb this is best for us?

I no more suffer on worry tat u leave me....
Coz it is now.......
But I missed the day that we chatting everyday or mostly once in 2 days.....
Even Im not really like ur bad temper.....
But I accepted it all......
Im bad temper too.....I know how alone for this kind of ppl....
Like me rite now.....
Coz.....Im alone rite now too......

When is the day.....
Is the day our meet and say hi again?

----------------------------------------------------

NAH JUST SOME BLA.....IM TIRED LIKE HELL NOW....OTL

The step of my rotten....

This is so WTF......
Just a view of my beginning of some kind of art.....lolz
So tired today....
Have to join the opening of the kopitiam near my hse...
Im the photographer then.....

This is the first one.....We are playing the little red hood remake....
With the title of GOLD FISH UNCLE bring her to see GOLD FISH......
I almost done the 2nd wan but really im so sleepy rite now.......

Here is the screenshoot of the making....
(I think I was skipped the step of see the GOLD FISH......LOLZ)
Will be upload to Deviant soon....For those pic of above.....
If u guys wan some clear....Just grab frm there.....

New journey of my rotten artwork.....>w<

Beginning of My Rotten Life

Is so tired and headache since these days rushing for all my assignment done for final week, same as others.....
But still my work not the good one in the class......haiz....
My creative was getting lower and lower nowadays.....
I wish to get rid of it but....It still exist and make me feel like so useless and depressing......WTF.....

Finally get sick in the end......
and was flunking mah 2d animation.......owh sorry Mr Ken~T^T
i think i really gonna touch it up before assesment,it was in 11st and 12th of May...
But now still bit not feeling well lolz.......

Summore is the day when I go to find bi tot wanna have a talk.....
It was been around 3 week at least since last time hang out wit him.........
BUT I WAS SOARTHROAT HOW TO TALK????WTF~?~?~T^T~

End up with looking at him playing Fatal Frame 4 on wii until the end.....
Enjoying the lame of laughing at different kind of ghost in the story, and lame-ness of Raymand playing game......
They really make a NICE PARTNER ROFL~

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Okay..............
This was make me feel so wanted to bang the wall........
When I heard that someone wanna ban me off frm sumwhere,I was like>>>>>O_O
HELO FARKER?
DID I KILL UR WHOLE FAMILY OR RAPE UR BF/GF????
ALARH~It make me so depresss.................Grrrr........

I really cant take off the confusing of my brain tat time...........
Not really coz i think too much i think........
It din exist in my life since I found out tat I wun be care of anything like the past........

It jz..........
Who is the one talking the truth?
Who is the one who cheating me exactly...??
Did they really consider me as friend?
Or just a toy........?

Finally end up talk wit Arden and thanks to her....
She clear up my mind.......
She told me tat I shud hv faith on it........
I just think tat......
So alone........
When u were found out tat u hv been abandoned or betrayed....
Or nobody care of u in true,just a act to the public.......
And when u feeling was ignored......
Even u tell the truth.....

So what shud i trust for?
Another hurt on my heart?
Another scar make me once again wanna end up of my life??
Or make me flunking off my life again for a year?3 year?Or how many years?

I dont know.........